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• 1: RoadRunner Records - Annual Assault 2009
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Any chubby-chasing fantasies? The Fat-ass inflatable sex doll means there's more of her to love and hold, with more bounce per ounce and giant boobs that rock! Ever wondered why them fat girls are so popular, but were afraid to try? Then knock your socks off with this sexy mama! Retailing at $29.99, how can you pass up such a bargain? -
[Source: 
The Stroke on A Rope Soap is the filthiest soap you'll ever see. It's the perfect way to rub off all the dirty thoughts you have in the shower, while still keeping you clean. Makes a great gift for Dad, or that She-Male secretary at the office. Make sure you put this one on your Christmas list before it's too late. I'm sure these things are selling like Hot Cakes. Gives new meaning to the term "Rub one off"! - [Source: 
What the hell is this crazy bitch running for the office of Vice-President for? I can't wait to see what this Presidency has in store for us. Ladies and Gentleman, the future Vice-President of the United States of America! You fuck with us and we will shoot you with our guns in American Flag bikinis, because were Americans.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
An unidentified company has offered Virgin Galactic one million dollars to to take some porn stars into zero gravity so they can film a porno movie. Will Whitehorn, president of Virgin Galactic, said that was money they had to refuse. Virgin is planning to begin flights of the WhiteKnightTwo aircraft in late 2009 or early 2010, charging passengers a whopping $200,000 a person to take them to the edge of the atmosphere and experience a measly ass five minutes of weightlessness. At that price, they should at least include a blowjob or something. As for sex in space, Virgin is electing to stay just that, Virgin.
Lucky bitch, Joanne Smith of Chicago IL, won an abandonded house in Saginaw Michigan. Joanne's winning bid was a measly ass $1.75 and beat out only eight other bidders. When asked what she was planning to do with the house, the expressed no interest in moving to Michigan and planned on selling the home. A notice on the door of the house mentions a pending foreclosure hearing. After hearing the good new about winning the house for so cheap, she was slapped with fees totaling $850 to cover back taxes and yard cleanup services.
